Raven's Guide to Teen Titans Survival
by Cantaloupe Zest
Summary: In order to help her deal with her insufferable teammates, Raven has composed a guide to surviving life with the Teen Titans.
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is extremely short, but bear with me, it's the prologue. The actual chapters will be longer, I promise you. I plan on making this upwards of anywhere between twenty and fifty chapters long, or until my ideas run out. The prologue is from Raven's point of view, but the rest of it will be in third person point of view. **

**Disclaimers: I don't own Teen Titans. **

_**Raven's Teen Titans Survival Guide**_

**Prologue – Set up for the Guide**

Everyone knows that we, The Teen Titans, are the official super hero team of Jump City. (And if you didn't know that, you're obviously stupid and not worth my time.) We keep the streets safe for people like you. (Be grateful. I don't even _like_ most of you, yet I save your hides time and time again.)

Yes, I admit, we live a rather lavish lifestyle. "Amazing", if you will. But when you've got teammates like _my _teammates (not to mention enemies like ours), being a super hero isn't always so amazing.

So, more for my own sanity than yours, I've composed a survival guide to help me overcome my insufferable teammates. Perhaps it will help you a little bit, too. (God knows one can only deal with Starfire's perkiness or Beast Boy's jokes for so long.)

The guide will contain helpful tips to deal with certain undesirable aspects of my teammates, and also things to all together avoid. Hopeful it will assist you in some way, or at least entertain you – otherwise, it's really pointless for you to read it, now isn't it?

So enjoy it, or whatever.

**A/N: Once again, I'm very sorry it's such a short begining, but there wasn't muchI could do to make the prologue longer. Read and review, kindly! **

**Love,**

**Pools**


	2. Tip Number One

**Survival Tip Number One: Never give a Tamaranian sugar. The results are _not_ enjoyable.**

Starfire flew through the tower with a determined face. She needed to find Raven. It was utterly imperative that she did. She had a very important question to ask her.

She knew Raven would not enjoy being disrupted, and because of this Starfire would have asked Robin, but he and Cyborg had gone grocery shopping, and Beast Boy was too enthralled in his video game to take a moment to help her.

"Raven?" She called softly, knocking on Raven's bedroom door lightly. She received no response. She knocked harder, getting the same result. "Raven, I know you are in there! Please open your door before I ask Beast Boy to sing his 'tofu pride' songs-"

Before she could finish her sentence, the door was wide opened.

"_You wouldn't dare._" Raven said, trying to hide her somewhat fearful expression.

"Would I not?" Starfire challenged. Raven glowered, but pulled Starfire into the room.

"Fine. But remember the rules." She said, returning to her usual monotone and resuming meditation. She glanced at Starfire skeptically. "You _do _remember the rules, don't you?"

"I do. Touch nothing without your permission and always put everything back where it originally was, right down to the exact point or you will have my head on a platter." Starfire recited. "May I… 'take a seat'?" Raven nodded, and pointed to the bed. Starfire gratefully sat, then noticed the large, somewhat frightening raven carved into the head board. Letting out an 'eep', she leapt to her feet.

"Perhaps I shall stand…" She murmured. She glanced around the room nervously. "Have you considered putting more lights in, friend Raven?"

"Did you come in here just to be my interior designer, Starfire, or do you have a point?" Raven asked, growing annoyed with her friend. "Because if you came in here just to criticize my room designs…" Starfire's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Oh, yes! Or rather, no. I did not come to be your interior designer, I mean. I came here to inquire as to what these food substances are!" Starfire uncurled her fist, revealing two tootsie rolls, a piece of gum, and several pixie sticks. Raven reluctantly opened her eyes and peered at the treats.

"That would be candy." She explained, standing. "They're sugary treats that tasteverygood, but are highly unhealthy for you."

"Am I permitted to digest such things?" Starfire asked, eyes wide and hopeful. Raven shrugged.

"Just don't spill on my carpet or I'll rip out your spleen."

Starfire ignored this, and eagerly devoured the candy. Her broad smile widened.

"That was delicious!" She cried.

"Yes, well… Starfire?" Raven frowned at her alien friend. Starfire's pupils had dilated. She had a silly grin plastered on her face. Her fingers twitched slightly. Raven's frown deepened. "Are you alright? What's the matter with you?"

"I must have more!" Starfire cried, zooming off. Raven hurried after her, into the kitchen, where Starfire was chugging a soda.

"Oh Raven, do try this on!" Starfire pulled a large pink and green hat off of her head (Raven briefly wondered _where _Starfire had acquired such a hat) and handed it to Raven eagerly. "You will look splendid! Aha ha ha!" She shrieked with laughter.

"…Where did you get this hat?" Raven asked.

"I am not sure!" Starfire giggled madly. "Do try it on!"

"…Whoa." Raven turned. Beast Boy had entered the room, and was staring at Starfire in surprise. "What's with her?"

"I don't know." Raven looked over at him, her face betraying no emotions. "I was hoping you could tell me. This far exceeds her _normal_ perky."

"Hmm…" Beast Boy approached Starfire, circling her and looking her over meticulously. Starfire found this hilarious, and laughed manically as she shoved licorice into her mouth, bouncing up and down. "She's got all the tell tale signs of sugar high. Jeez, what did you give her, Rae?" Raven shot him a glare.

"I gave her nothing. I don't know where she got that junk." She snapped. "How do we stop this?"

"Give her something sugar free or healthy." Beast Boy advised. "Usually that works." Raven opened the fridge and pulled out a block of Beast Boy's tofu.

"Will this work?" She asked. He shrugged.

"It should…" Raven approached Starfire, who was dancing with a sack of potatoes on the table top.

"Starfire, don't you want some nice, sugary, tofu?" Raven asked, trying and failing to make her voice sound sweeter. Starfire turned at the word 'sugary'.

"_Sugar!_" She shrilled, dropping the sack of potatoes. "I apologize,Herbert!" She cried to the potato sack. She turned her attention to Raven."Please, give me the sugar!"

Starfire snatched the tofu from Raven, eating it quickly. Beast Boy and Raven watched with satisfaction as Starfire slowly returned to herself. She held her head in pain, moaning.

"Oh my X'hal… I have such an ache of the head…" She mumbled.

"It'll go away eventually." Beast Boy assured her. He popped a tootsie roll into his mouth. Starfire watched him closely.

"Friend Raven?" She asked, "What is the matter with friend Beast Boy…?" Raven looked up. Beast Boy's pupils were dilated hugely. A silly grin was plastered on his face. His hands twitched slightly. Raven turned paler than usual.

"_Crap._"


	3. Tip Number Two

**A/N: Wow, thank you guys so much for all the positive feed back! You really made my day! I'm going to be away for the next four days or so, so I figured I'd give you one more chapter before I go. :) I'll put another one up when I get back! **

**Disclaimers: Well, I own a lot of things, but "Teen Titans" isn't one of them. Tragic, really. On with the show! Er, story! **

**Tip Two: Never interrupt Raven's meditation. (AKA, don't mess with the Queen of Stankball.)**

Raven sat peacefully in her meditative position, facing the bay as she meditated. For once, she'd gotten peace during her meditation. Robin hadn't insisted upon training and Starfire was, for once, not asking Raven a million and one questions like; "May I perform braiding maneuvers on your follicles, friend Raven?" (Starfire was Raven's best friend, but it became difficult for a person like Raven to deal with sometimes.)

Meanwhile, Beast Boy and Cyborg were creeping down the hallway right outside the door, Cyborg holding the infamous Stankball in his hands.

"Are you sure we should be askin' her when she's like this, B?" Cyborg asked doubtfully. He peeked through the door as quietly as he could. "She looks pretty happy. I mean, how often does _that_ happen?"

"Dude, I do this all the time," Beast Boy assured him. "She just calls you a moron and asks what you want. Besides, if she's in a _good_ mood, she might even _skip_ the moron part!"

"Why don't we just get Robin or Starfire to referee for us? Why Rae?" Cyborg asked.

"Starfire doesn't understand it and Robin spends the whole time lecturing us," Beast Boy pointed out. "Raven at least pays attention to what's going on, even if she doesn't want to. Besides, on the rare occasion when she _plays, _she's like… _awesome, _dude! And if she's _happy, _she might play!"

"Well… okay." Cyborg agreed, "But let's be really quiet, nice, and polite about it, okay? BB? Are you listen' to me?" He apparently wasn't. Beast Boy swung the door open and ran in at a sprint.

"HEY, RAAAAAAAVEN!" He cried. Raven let out a yell, falling to the ground. She glared at him, hair hanging in her face, her formerly peaceful expression turning into one of murderous rage.

"_IT WAS HIS FAULT!_" Cyborg cried, shaking his finger at Beast Boy. "I told him not to, it's his fault! Have mercy!"

"Give me the ball." She ordered. Cyborg frowned at her.

"Wh-"

"_Give me the ball._" She said menacingly.

"…Yes ma'am." Cyborg squeaked, handing her the stankball. Refusing to touch it with hair bare hands, Raven took it with her powers.

"Because I am feeling particularly generous today," She said, "I'm giving you a three second head start."

"Really, Rae?" Cyborg asked. "Wow, that's really-"

**BAM. **

"Times up." With incredible force, she threw the stankball directly at Cyborg, knocking him backwards several feet. She turned to Beast Boy, who was scrambling towards the door.

**THWACK. **

He was unavoidably hit by the stankball as well, falling to the ground. Raven smirked, proud of herself. Beast Boy mumbled something. Frowning, she hit him again with the stankball in an attempt to silence him. Sure that they were unconscious and couldn't hear her, she announced proudly;

"I am the _Queen _of Stankball."

"What…?" Beast Boy muttered, his voice muffled by the carpet his face was slammed into. Raven turned red, her angry expression returning.

**SMACK. **

"Ow… never mind."

**Read n' review, my duckies! **

**Love, **

**Pools**


	4. Tip Number Three

**A/N: I'm not a big fan of this one, but I figured I should attempt at some R/S fluff. I wanted to put a cute little thing... I like how Robin tends to bend over backwards to accomadate her, despite the others. Eh. I'm sorry this is late, by the way, I know I promised it sooner... but things and stuff came up. Not that that's an excuse - but anyway, I hope this satisfies your needs and you like it more than I do. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, my friends. **

**Tip Three – The art of getting out of Training (Warning: This will most likely only work if you are Starfire)**

What the Teen Titans possibly loathed the most about Robin being their leader was his training schedules. Monday through Friday, they woke up at five thirty each morning and trained until nine. (Saturdays they woke up at seven and trained until ten thirty, and Sundays they did not train.)

The fact of the matter was, only Robin seemed the enjoy training. (Starfire tolerated it, and took it with a smile as best she possibly could.) The other Titans had created a game between them – who could come up with the best excuse to get out of training. Thus far, no excuse was successful.

"Hey Robin," Beast Boy mumbled groggily, "It's national 'Don't Train' day. If you make us train, you'll be going against a national holiday."

"Nice try, Beast Boy. Start bench pressing, Raven will spot you." Robin replied.

"But Robin," Cyborg interjected, "It's unhealthy to start training without a big, huge breakfast!"

"It's never affected you before, has it?" Robin countered. "Start jogging."

"But-" Robin held his hand.

"End of discussion, Cyborg. Rules are rules." He said. Sighing, Cyborg started jogging around the gym.

"Robin." Raven said in her throaty monotone, "If we train, I'm going to rip out your spleen then make you ingest it."

"You used that threat two weeks ago, Raven." Robin reminded her, smirking. "Go and spot Beast Boy, he looks like the weight is about to crush his chest."

"Robin!" Beast Boy croaked, "My rib cage has just been smashed! I need to stop training right now!"

"If your rib cage was smashed, you wouldn't be complaining about training," Robin pointed out. "Now all of you stop coming up with excuses and train. It will only go by slower if you complain about it."

"Sorry…" They grumbled.

Starfire, who had been observing this ordeal all morning long while quietly lifting weights in the corner, watched her friends come up with reason after reason to escape the blasphemous hours of training.

"It _would _be nice to skip training… just this once." She mused to herself, slowly lowering the weights and approaching Robin, who was watching the others train.

"Robin," She said sweetly, "Perhaps, just this once, I could-"

"Starfire, you've been doing really well in training," Robin commended, cutting her off, "And as a reward, why don't you take the day off?" Starfire beamed, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug.

"Oh, thank you, Robin!" She cried. "I am most grateful to you!" She flew out of the gym.

Robin turned back to Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg, who were giving him simultaneous death glares. If looks could kill, he would have died six times – twice per person.

"What?" He asked defensively. Their jaws dropped.

"You've got to be kidding me." Raven deadpanned.

"That's _insane, _man." Cyborg said.

"It's only because he loves her!" Beast Boy cried.

"What? I don't love anyone!" Robin cried.

"We've been giving you reason after reason to let us out of training," Cyborg said, "And she doesn't do _anything_ and you let her have the day off? It's either love or insanity – and even if you are insane, I think its love."

"Shut up." Robin snapped. "Go back to training!"

"Robin…" Starfire reappeared in the room. "Our friends are not mad at me for being released from training, are they?"

"Of course not, Starfire. You deserve this." Robin assured her. Her smile returned, and she hurried away. He glanced back at the others, who were once again glaring at him.

"What!"

"I _hate _you."


	5. Tip Number Four

**A/N: Alright, I am MUCH happier with this one. Oh, a few of you who've read my other, deleted stuff might recognize the general idea - I used to have a one-shot up here called "Cramps", with a similar premise to this chapter... I basically remodeled it and changed some stuff, made it better, and added some things with Beast Boy so it would fit the story. ;-) Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Well, I mean, I own things, just not things that pretain to the Titans - so don't sue me. Thanks, you're a peach. **

**Tip Four – Men will never, ever understand the concept of menstruation. **

Raven hugged her arms around her stomach, making a face that hinted she was terribly uncomfortable. She'd been behaving oddly lately. She was, impossibly, more irritable than ever before. Instead of her usually un-emotional face, a permanent glare took its place. This happened for a short time ever month – Raven would be moodier than usual, demanding chocolate while the others tried to stay out of her way.

Of course, this meant one thing and one thing one. Raven was being visited by her delightful little "friend", and much to the boys and Starfire's dismay, she was extremely angry and in severe pain.

Starfire had fled the room in fear, afraid of her temporarily insane friend. Even her pudding of wellness wouldn't help her dear friends now, and after she had made Raven yell, Starfire was too scared of her to try and help.

Beast Boy walked into the room, quirking his brow, amused at Raven's pain.

"**_What?_**" She asked; the mere sound of her voice utterly terrifying.

"Nothing. I was just wondering if you wanted to come with me to a comedy show thing tonight. It's gonna be wicked awesome!" He said eagerly, grinning widely. Raven glared at him.

"Beast Boy, was your whole family this stupid, or are you just special?" She asked dryly.

"I dunno… I guess I'm pretty special." He shrugged. She sighed.

"It was a rhetorical question, you moron." She said, frustrated. "I'll speak slowly for your benefit, okay? Look at the condition I'm in. Do I _look _like I want to go to a _comedy show, _idiot?"

"Okay, _maybe_ the comedy show was a bad idea." Beast Boy acknowledged, nodding. He took a seat on the couch, sitting on the opposite end as Raven. "Do you want me to stay here and keep you company, or whatever?"

She glanced over at him, at first surprised, but then she returned to her glare. She shrugged.

"Whatever." Was all she said on the matter.

The pair sat in silence for a moment, and it was almost pleasantly enjoyable. Then, in true Beast Boy fashion, the moment was ruined.

"So um, what's wrong with you, anyways?" He asked nervously. Raven looked over at him, mildly amused, a small smile playing on her lips.

"You want to know?" She asked. He nodded. "Well, since you asked… I've got my period."

The look on Beast Boy's face was one that Raven would forever relish. He went entirely white as a sheet, his eyes wide, slightly slack-jawed. Raven let out a small, solitary laugh. True, she didn't like releasing her emotions, especially for safety reasons – but this was entirely worth laughing at. What was a broken light bulb compared to the amazing look on Beast Boy's face?

"You know what," Beast Boy said slowly, after a moment, "Maybe I _will _go to that comedy show…"


	6. Tip Number Five

**Authors Note: First, let me say I am SO, SO SORRY that I haven't updated in awhile. I just wrapped up the musical "Crazy for You" two weekends ago, and I've been swamped with make up work and on Thursday I went to Boston to see "Spamalot" - which by the way is hysterical - and now I'm on vacation. Anyway, I'm so sorry. Second, this segment is actually from my one-shot "The Tenth Time" - one section of it mentions Raven eating tofu to get Beast Boy to be quiet, and it backfires - I took the generally idea and lengthened it out, and turned it into a chapter... Yeah. Third, I have NOTHING against vegetarians. My very best friend in the whole world is a vegetarian. In fact, I want to be a vegetarian, but I could never do that because I like to eat cheese burgers.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Tip Five – Never appease vegetarians, it over-excites them.**

"Could you too possibly be any slower?" Raven asked cynically. She, Starfire, and Robin were all seated around the kitchen table, waiting for Cyborg and Beast Boy to finish cooking their dinner. (Originally just Cyborg was going to cook, but Beast Boy saw what was on the menu and instantly protested, so Cyborg told him to make his own dinner.)

"Sorry, Rae – if _Cyborg_ wasn't _hogging the whole kitchen_, we'd be done faster!" Beast Boy said, pushing Cyborg.

"Don't call me Rae."

"Me? I was here _first!_" Cyborg said, pushing Beast Boy right back.

"Please do not fight, friends," Starfire pleaded, "Can you not simply share the space?"

"I've been trying too, but Mr. Meat here _refuses_ to!"

"_I _refuse to! Man, how many times do I have to _tell _you, _I was here first!_"

"Well maybe it wouldn't be such a problem if you didn't cook and all-meat meal!"

"Maybe there wouldn't be such a problem if you weren't a vegetarian!"

"Oh yeah! Well do you know what I think?"

"_You _think? I'm amazed!"

After much more arguing, and nearly burning dinner, the food had finally been prepared. The arguments had finally settled, and they were all ready to eat, when another argument ensued.

"Wait a minute! _Don't eat yet!_" Beast Boy cried. Everyone groaned, dropping their forks back on to their plates.

"What, Beast Boy?" Robin asked. "What could possibly be wrong _now?_"

"Not one single person is eating my steamed tofu!"

"And you're _surprised? _It's called 'tofu', B. It even tries to warn you how disgusting it's going to be with its _name._" Cyborg said.

"It's _not _disgusting! It's great! And it's a lot healthier than fifty pounds of meat every day!" Beast Boy retorted.

"Hey, you _need_ meat!"

"Duh, dude, I think me and the other gazillion vegetarians in the world are living proof that you _don't_!"

"One, gazillion ain't a number, and two, you would say 'the other gazillion vegetarians and _I_'!" Cyborg said arrogantly.

"Oh, and how would you know, Mr. Grammar?"

"Tell him, Rae." Cyborg said. Raven sighed, rubbing her temples.

"There is not such number as 'gazillion', and yes, the sentence would be 'vegetarians and I'."

"HA!" Cyborg shouted.

"But," Raven went on, "The word 'ain't' is not grammatically correct, either."

"HA!" Beast Boy shouted. "So back to the issue – vegan rules, meat drools."

"Is that the best you can come up with?"

"Are you insulting my intelligence!"

"_I'll_ eat your stupid tofu if you just shut up about it."

The room silenced. All eyes fell on the person who stated the proposition, eyes wide and mouths agape.

"Really! That's _awesome!_" Beast Boy nearly hugged Raven, and shoved a plate in front of her.

"Are you sure you want to risk it?" Robin whispered to her.

"It's just tofu." Raven reasoned. "Besides, if it makes him shut up, I'll risk anything."

Unfortunately, the opposite effect seemed to take place. Instead of silencing him, this only seemed to fuel his vegetarian pride.

"This is so great, Rae," Beast Boy rallied on, "And if you like it, maybe you can become vegetarian, too! Wouldn't that be so cool, having two vegetarians in the house! We could totally go against Cyborg and his meat tirades and – wait… why are you putting down your fork? Rae? Where are you going! Rae! Wait! We need to become vegans together! Rae! Stop! Stop walking away, no! Don't do that! The tofu is over here! Raven! Come back!"

He glanced at the others, who were smirking smugly. He laughed nervously.

"Uh… I'm sure she just went to, uh… go get a book on how to become a vegetarian…"


	7. Tip Number Six

**Tip Six – Before taking a long trip, make you sure you take appropriate measures to ensure a smooth journey. (Or, make sure you use the bathroom first and pack plenty of food.)**

The Titans were on the way to visit their Eastern branch, to make sure they were recovering nicely from the Brother Blood escapade. However, this journey meant quite a long trek across the United States, since they were spread so far apart. The journey would take about three days, if they made good time and nothing went wrong.

They were set to leave the tower at seven the next morning, so Robin awoke everyone at six-thirty.

"Does everyone have what they need?" Robin asked. "And remember; use the bathroom before we leave. I don't want to make stops. Cyborg, is there enough food in the cooler you packed?"

"Yep. Filled to the brim with delicious meaty-meat products." Cyborg said proudly, grinning.

"Did you put my tofu in?" Beast Boy asked suspiciously, glancing into the cooler.

"At the bottom. So I get to watch you dig through meat to find it." Cyborg grinned wickedly, placing the cooler in the trunk.

"Can we please leave soon?" Raven, book tucked under one arm, asked in annoyance. "The sooner we leave, the sooner we can get there, and the sooner we get there, the sooner we come home."

"Indeed, I am eager to see our East-Coast friends!" Starfire said eagerly, clapping her hands.

"Okay." Robin glanced at his checklist, then back up at the team. "Is everyone ready?"

"Only for the past fifteen minutes." Raven grumbled, pushing past Robin and taking her seat in the car. Beast Boy clamored into the car next, then Starfire after him. It was slightly cramped in the back seat, but no more so than usual. Cyborg and Robin took the driver and front passenger seats, as they always did.

"One of these days," Beast Boy announced, "I'm going to drive this baby."

"Not if I'm still alive, B." Cyborg replied, turning the key in the ignition and backing out of the garage. "Alright y'all, let's get this road trip going!"

* * *

_**Day One: Fours hours after departure**_

"Dudes, we have a serious situation back here!" Beast Boy proclaimed, squirming in his seat.

"Stop moving." Raven snapped.

"Indeed, friend Beast Boy, it is most uncomfortable to have you move about like that. Can you not stay still?" Starfire implored, polite as always.

"What's the problem, Beast Boy?" Robin asked, sighing.

"I _seriously _have to pee. Like, wicked bad." He said, biting his lip. Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead.

"Didn't you use the bathroom before we left?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, but that was _four _hours ago!" Beast Boy cried. "Dude, Cyborg, I _seriously_ need to use the bathroom!"

"We were just at a rest stop, why didn't you use the bathroom there?" Cyborg asked.

"Rest stop bathrooms are grosser than meat!" Beast Boy squeezed his eyes shut. "Can we just stop by the side of the road or something?!"

"You'll pee outside in the woods, with bugs and poison ivy everywhere, but you won't pee at the rest stop?" Raven asked.

"Exactly!" He shouted. "Cy, come on!" A very small smile tugged at Raven's lips.

"Beast Boy," She grabbed her water bottle and held it out to him. "Are you thirsty? I know _I_ am."

"Aw, Rae, come on!" Beast Boy whined.

"What? I was only offering you water, in case you were thirsty. But since you don't want it, I suppose I'll have to drink it…" She took a long sip, finishing off the water, and made a big show of getting every last droplet.

"_PULL OVER!_"

* * *

_**Day Two: Thirty four hours after departure.**_

"Does anyone remember where I put my Book of Azar?" Raven asked, glancing around the car. "I had it before." She had been reading it, but put it down when she decided to sleep for a short while.

"Oh." Starfire turned pink. "Please do not be angry with me friend, but while you slept, curiosity over came me and I began reading it." Raven sighed.

"That's fine, Starfire." She had no desire to lose her temper in the car, when they were in such close quarters. "Where did you put it when you were done?"

"Well…" Starfire hesitated a moment. "We visited a stop of rest for twenty minutes or so, and I read your enthralling book outside at one of the tables…" Raven's eyes widened.

"Starfire, tell me you didn't." She said. "Tell me you didn't leave the Book of Azar behind."

"I am most sorry Raven, it was purely accidental! I had not realized I had done so until just now, when you asked for it – please do not be angry with me." Starfire pleaded, looking truly sorry.

"Cyborg, turn around." Raven ordered.

"Rae, you gotta be kidding me. That rest stop was twenty miles back!" Cyborg cried.

"_Turn around, now._" She said, more menacingly than before. She gripped the seat of the car so tightly her knuckles turned white, and her eyes began to glow red. Cyborg pulled a U-Turn in the middle of the highway, more afraid of death-by-Raven than death by car crash.

* * *

_**Day Three: Fifty two hours after departure **_

"I do not mean to be impatient, but are we nearly there?" Starfire asked hopefully. "We ran out of food five hours ago, and I am growing quite hungry."

"Me too," Cyborg agreed. "Robin, I thought you said we'd have enough."

"We'll be there in about seven more hours." Robin said wearily, "If we don't make any more unnecessary stops."

"But Robin, we have no edible foods left. If we will not be there for seven more hours and shall not eat during that time, we will _die!_" Starfire whined, hugging her arms around her stomach.

"We won't die, Starfire," Robin promised. "Try not to shout – Raven and Beast Boy are sleeping."

"We're not sleeping _anymore, _thanks." Raven grumbled. She glanced down. "In the name of Azar – is that Beast Boy's _drool _on my clothes?"

"Heh heh… Sorry Rae, but I was sorta using you as a pillow." He said sheepishly. "Do we have any food? I'm starved."

"We ran out. Even your nasty tofu is gone." Cyborg informed him.

"So we'll go to a rest area," Raven said, "It's not rocket science."

"Any rest area at this point is forty five minutes tacked onto our trip! Twenty minutes to get _off_ the highway, five minutes to get what we need, and twenty more trying to get back _on_ the highway." Robin said reasonably, "So we're just going to have to deal with no food until we get there. I'm sure they'll have plenty for us."

"May we please stop at the rest stop? I would not mind a longer journey if it meant we would be nourished," Starfire pleaded.

"We just don't have the time. If we want to get there before midnight, we can't make any unnecessary stops. Sorry, Starfire." Robin said.

"Uh, dude?" Beast Boy pointed. "We're about to hit major traffic. Someone must have crashed up there. We're gonna be here awhile."

"_I MUST HAVE FOOD VERY SOON!_" Starfire shrilled. She gasped, and covered her mouth, surprised at her own outburst. "I am sorry! I do not know what came over me!"

"_That's it! _We're getting food!" Raven shouted. "I don't care if it takes us seven _years_ to get to the Titans East!"

"Okay, okay, we're going," Grumbled Cyborg.

* * *

_**Arrival: 72 Hours after Departure**_

"Finally!" Beast Boy said with relief, as they climbed out of the T-Car. He stretched his arms. "It's good to be out of the car!"

"Friends, what is this?" Starfire flew to the door of the Titans East Tower, where there was a folded note taped to it. She handed it to Robin, who unfolded it. He instantly paled, his eyes widened behind his mask.

"N-No!" He cried. "It can't be!"

"What can't be?" Asked Raven, taking the piece of paper. She looked it over, and her eyes narrowed. "I will _kill _every last one of them."

"_Hey guys! Sorry about this, but there was some huge emergency we were needed for, you know how it goes, and you guys weren't here yet… We'll be back in a while, a day or two at most, but it's going to cut into our visit. You should just head back home; we'll visit another time. – Bee"_


	8. Tip Number Seven

**Tip Seven—If it's a delicacy on Tamaran, it is not to be trusted.**

Starfire stood over the counter, stirring her bowl of ingredients patiently, while the rest of her teammates sat around the table behind her.

"It will not be much longer, I assure you, friends." She insisted, as Raven leafed absently through her book of Azar.

"Don't worry about it, Star," Beast Boy waved it off; "We can wait. No big. Uh—there's not meat in that, is there?"

"No," Starfire smiled gently, "I made certain to find a recipe that required no meat products, for your sake. So there is none."

"There's not?!" Cyborg snapped to attention, his human eye widening greatly. "Then what the heck am I eatin' it for?!"

"You're eating it because our friend made it," Robin reminded him firmly, "And it means a lot to her."

"Well it means a lot to me to eat meat!" Cyborg countered.

"You're nuts, dude," Beast Boy informed him, pointing accusingly.

"No, I do not believe there are nuts in this recipe," Starfire said thoughtfully, stroking her chin in consideration, "Perhaps, though…"

"That's not what he meant, Starfire." Raven said patiently, closing her book and tucking it under her arm. "Is it almost ready? I have places to go."

"Where?" Beast Boy asked, gesturing with his spoon.

"Places." Raven repeated, suggesting that she did not wish to further divulge information to him.

"It is ready now," Starfire immersed herself in the conversation to quell any arguments. She brought the bowl over, as well as spoon, and started scooping it onto everyone's plates.

"Starfire?" Cyborg poked the substance with his spoon. "Is it supposed to be that shade of green?" The food Starfire was scooping onto their plates was a delightful shade of moldy bread. When poked with a spoon, it jiggled uncontrollably, and yet had a strange fur-type coating to it. It was adorned with dim yellow spots, and was all together unpleasant looking.

"Yes, I assure you, this is precisely how it is supposed to look. It is much loved on Tamaran." She promised, scooping the last of it onto Robin's plate.

"If you think I'm eating this, you're nuts!" Beast Boy cried. Starfire frowned slightly, confused.

"No, I have told you, there are no nuts in the recipe." She repeated. She took her seat at the table. "Now, who wishes to be the first to try it?"

"I nominate Robin!" Cyborg cried out, "Since, you know, he's the one who says it means so much to you."

"Glorious!" Starfire clasped her hands together happily, too excited to notice Robin send a glare Cyborg's way.

"Just…great," He forced a smile, reaching for his spoon. Starfire watched in delight as Robin took his time, getting the smallest portion he could muster, and slowly brought it to his lips. "Uh—here goes nothing…"

"Bon appetite," Raven said dryly, causing Beast Boy to snicker. Throwing one final glare Raven's way, Robin took the plunge, and took a bite.

The others watched with baited breath (Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg were waiting to see if it was necessary to call an ambulance; Starfire was eagerly awaiting his response) as Robin chewed slowly. The rubbery texture required him to do so for nearly two full minutes before he managed to swallow.

"So?" Starfire asked hopefully.

"That's… um… _delicious_, Starfire!" He insisted, his face slowly draining of color. Starfire clapped her hands eagerly, and from behind her, Robin slowly dragged his finger across his throat as a gesture to the others. 'DO NOT EAT', he mouthed.

"Uh, gee Starfire, this has been _swell_, but I promised Cy I'd go with him to pick up a new car battery!" Beast Boy lied quickly. "Just put some in the fridge for us and we'll have it when we get back, alright?"

"Oh," Starfire's face fell slightly. "I suppose I shall."

"I have to be somewhere." Raven rose to her feet, sliding her book into a bag, sliding it over her shoulder. "I'll let you and Robin enjoy your meal together."

"But—I—" Robin gave them all pleading looks, searching for an excuse to get out of it.

"We all gotta take the fall sometimes," Cyborg said under his breath, grinning patronizingly at Robin. "It's only fair."

"Okay, sure, I'll stay and have dinner with Starfire," A wicked grin filled his face. "And as a special treat, Starfire can make _you_ all breakfast tomorrow while I take care of some things. It's only _fair_."


	9. Tip Number Eight

**Tip Eight—Always give second chances; never give thirds.**

Raven was not so prideful that she could not admit when she was wrong. There were, on occasion, times when she was wrong. It used to be harder for her to admit that.

When Terra had come to the tower, Raven mistrusted her right away. She could not understand why the others took to her so quickly, and were so readily accepting of her when they barely knew her.

Perhaps it hurt her so much because she, as well as the others, had to work so _hard_ to earn each other's trust—then Terra waltzed in and, within hours, was accepted by everyone. Raven found solace in Cyborg, who—to Raven's surprise—was also a bit doubtful about Terra. In fact, when it was time to vote whether or not Terra should've been admitted to the team, only Cyborg spoke against her.

"I don't know man," He had said; "She comes outta nowhere, dazzles us with a few moves, and now she's on the team? I dunno, man."

However, the others swayed his vote; and even Raven supported her place on the team. (She had been too tired to argue with them anymore, and finally she agreed with a simple; "I refuse to say 'I told you so'. I refuse to take the blame for anything she does. But I will not let something as stupid as this be the reason friendships fall apart.")

Terra ran away, and Raven was immediately suspicious. Why had she been so secretive, so hesitant to admit she had issues with her powers? She wasn't the only one. Nearly everyone in the house had some sort of problem with their powers, whether it was controlling them or otherwise.

Partly, Raven suspected Terra had just been looking for a reason to keep running.

When Terra returned several weeks later, Raven was even less trusting than before. Cyborg, it seemed, felt the opposite; and welcomed Terra back with open arms. Raven was alone in her feelings towards Terra—and this time, there was no vote for her to speak out against.

When she betray them for Slade, Raven held her tongue. She said nothing to the others, and even though they said nothing in return; she knew they were grateful. The last thing any of them needed was to be scolded. It all went without saying, anyhow.

In the end, Terra redeemed herself through sacrifice. This time, it was the others who were kind enough not to say 'I told you so', something Raven was eternally grateful for. It was hard enough to admit you were wrong, much less be told so repeatedly.

Then, months later, almost an entire year—Beast Boy swore he had seen her again. Raven's heart lurched and stomach dropped when she heard this; and her face paled considerably. She was not prepared, by any means, to see Terra again. Truthfully, she didn't feel that any of the Titans were prepared—or willing—to see her again. So when Beast Boy made it his mission to find her, Raven made it her mission to stop him.

"Do you think she really forgot it all?" Raven asked. She and Beast Boy had spent hours discussing Terra's alleged return—unlike the others, Raven believed him. It wasn't as impossible as the others thought it was. She and Beast Boy had talked so long that it was near morning—almost dawn.

"I dunno." He replied, shrugging absently. They were both facing out towards a large window, looking out across the bay. The sun would be rising soon, and a gentle mist hung in the air. "It could be that she just _wants_ to forget it all. Or it could be that she really did."

"Maybe she only remembers pieces of it," Raven suggested, "Maybe it will come to her in time."

"Maybe…" He agreed, trailing off. Raven ran her fingers along the carpeted floor, clutching to it and letting her nails dig in.

"I don't think you should go looking for her, Beast Boy." She dug in her nails so deeply that her knuckles turned white. Beast Boy was quiet for a long time.

"I thought you'd say that." He said finally. Raven looked away, then back out the window.

"I know it may not seem like it, but… I want you to be happy. You know that, don't you?" She sounded almost desperate.

"I know." He looked down as well. "I know you're not too good with the emotion thing, Rae. You try the best you know how." Her fingers relaxed slightly. She was glad he understood.

"You can't make someone remember if they don't want to." He nodded. She drew her cloak around herself more tightly. "I think… I think that—that if you find her again, if she ever remembers; you'll be disappointed. I think you should honor her memory as it was."

"I know I can't make her remember," He whispered. He chose to ignore the rest of her statement.

"I don't think the team is ready for Terra, Beast Boy. If you _do_ find her, and if she _does_ remember you—remember us—I don't think the rest of us would be ready to let her back on the team." Raven said slowly, searching for the right words. "We're all scared, Beast Boy. Nothing like that had ever happened to us before. We've never _been_ so hurt by friends." Silence fell between them. If he went now, that was that. If he chose not to, Raven knew it would be okay.

"I won't stop you."

"Come on." He rose to his feet. "Let's get to bed."

The smallest of smiles tugged at the corners of Raven's lips, as she rose to her feet as well, and followed him out of the room. They were silent as they walked side-by-side, until they reached Raven's door. They would have to part now, so Beast Boy could go to his own room.

"Rae?" She tilted her head towards him, to show she was listening. "…I really miss her sometimes."

"Yeah." Raven gave a small nod. "Sometimes I miss her too."


	10. Tip Number Nine

**Tip Nine—Closets should be avoided at any and all costs. (But then again, maybe they aren't **_**so**_** bad.)**

Raven had been searching for the broom for over an hour. Starfire had shattered a vase when trying to put flowers in it, and though Raven offered to pick up the pieces with her powers, Starfire insisted on her need for a broom. (She had never used one before, and to her, the idea was thoroughly fascinating.) She had asked Starfire if she knew where the broom was, and she replied vaguely; "The closet, I believe."

It didn't occur to Raven until after she left the kitchen that the tower housed well over _twenty_ closets. She'd already checked six of them, and was quickly losing her patience. She resolved that if she hadn't found the broom after checking one last closet, she would call it quits and simply use her powers to clean the mess. Starfire would simply have to get over it.

Raven opened the door to the sixth closet, which was on the fifth floor of Titan's Tower, and slightly roomier than the other closets. (Only slightly—it was a linen closet, and housed lots of towels, pillows, and blankets.) She didn't expect to find the broom in there, but the tower was full of surprises (case-in-point: waking up to a school of tuna fish on her bed, as well as a very guilty Beast Boy and Starfire).

She gave the closet one sweeping glance and, confirming the broom was not in there, turned around and prepared to return to the kitchen. However, before she could shut the closet door, Beast Boy stumbled around the corner and crashed—directly into her.

The pair went sailing backwards, into the linen closet. A blanket toppled over and fell onto Raven's head, and Beast Boy winced as the closet door slammed shut.

"Glorious." Raven grumbled, pulling the blanket off of her head. She reached for the handle of the closet, giving it a slight tug, only to have the entire knob slide off the door easily, straight into her palm. She stared at it in surprise, Beast Boy peering over her shoulder, eyes wide. "_Wonderful._"

"Gee, Rae, you're stronger than you look!" Beast Boy commented. Raven threw a glare his way.

"I barely touched it," She defended, "It was loose."

"Suuuuuuure, Ravie." He teased, earning an even harsher glare from his companion.

"Give me your communicator," She growled.

"Where's yours?" He asked. Her eyes narrowed. "Okay, okay, sheesh! Here you go." He fished it out of his pocket, and handed it over. She flipped it open, and sighed with frustration.

"No reception in here." She said plainly, tossing it back to him. "I'm going to try and make a mental connection with one of the others, to get us out of here." Assuming the meditative position, Raven shut her eyes and chanted her mantra under her breath, facing away from him. Beast Boy watched, making faces at Raven's back. After only a moment or to, her concentration had broken.

"Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me." She rubbed her temples tiredly.

"What? What happened?" He asked. Raven let out a long sigh before replying.

"_Apparently_, Starfire went with Cyborg and Robin to go grocery shopping, since I can't reach any of them in the tower." She explained. "They're too far away for me to reach this way. Unless you can think of something, we're stuck."

"I could turn into a gnat!" He suggested. Raven shook her head.

"Cyborg took every little thing into consideration when building this place," She replied, "There's not enough space between the doors and the floors for even the smallest of bugs to get through. He said it was to make sure no one could slip nano-chips or something into the tower." She paused a moment. "…But mainly, he just doesn't want to admit he's afraid of bugs."

"Dude! No way! Really?" Beast Boy asked eagerly. "Who know big, tough Cyborg was afraid of little, teeny bugs? That's hilarious!"

"It's no more hilarious that your phobia of laundry detergent."

"Hey! Don't mock my phobias. Something just isn't right about that stuff." Beast Boy defended. "So, Rae, what'cha wanna do?"

"I don't know about you, but I am going to take this opportunity to meditate." She replied evenly, crossing her legs beneath her.

"Aw, Rae, come on! I got nothing to do in here, and if you won't talk to me, then it'll be as bad as being in here alone!" He complained. "Please, Rae? Don't think I won't do the face. I'll do the face!" When Raven still failed to budge, he turned himself into a tiny kitten with big eyes, batting his lashes at her sadly.

"Oh, fine. I'll never get any meditation done with you around, anyway…" She gave in. "But don't think that even for a second I'll play any stupid games with you. Just because we're stuck in this stupid closet together doesn't mean we'll have some magical bonding moment together."

"You're killing me, Rae," He whimpered. "This is totally the perfect opportunity for stupid games and magical bonding!"

"Oh my God, you're getting dumber by the second."

"Every day!"

Nearly an hour later, Raven would have considered taking her eyes out one at a time by way of spoon rather than take another second of Beast Boy's endless rambling. He had talked her ear off about vegetarianism, his opinion on Cyborg's eating habits, and how the girls in Japan were a lot friendlier than the girls in Jump City were. ("I get it, though," He had boasted, "The girls here are too intimidated by my good looks. They're scared to approach me.")

"—and then the toad said; 'no, dude, I'm not a frog!' and the frog said—"

"Beast Boy!" Raven snapped. His mouth slammed shut, and he looked shocked at her interruption. "_Why_ is it so important that you tell me these heinous jokes? Why is it so important that you bond with me at all?" He was quiet for a moment, and looked surprised by her outburst.

"Well, Rae, it's just that I've gotten to know all the others Titans really well. And I feel like I haven't gotten to be as close with you as I have with them." He explained. "And I think we could be really awesome friends, and you would really love to hang out with me, if you'd just give it a try."

"…Oh," Raven said quietly, unable to say anything else.

"And besides," He grinned at her, "I promised I wouldn't give up till you smiled, remember?" She felt her eyes grow wet, and she brushed at them absently.

"God," She whispered, "Why should _that_ make me want to cry?"

"Maybe because you don't have anyone else who'd do that for you." Beast Boy suggested. "But don't cry, Rae, I didn't mean to make you sad. I'm supposed to be making you smile, remember?"

"I remember." She swallowed back the tears. "I think we could be close friends, too. I would like that." Beast Boy grinned widely at her.

"Hey, Rae? Would you ever maybe want to—"

"Rae? BB?" Cyborg's voice filled the hallway just beyond the door. "You in there?"

"We're here, Cyborg!" Raven called back. "The door is stuck!"

With sudden, great force; the door was kicked wide open. Cyborg stood on the other side of it, looking in curiously.

"Man, I don't even _want_ to know how this happened. I'll see y'all at dinner."

After he had gone, Raven turned back to Beast Boy.

"You were saying?" She prompted.

"Huh? Oh. Nothing, really." He shrugged innocently. "C'mon, let's go get dinner."

"Okay…" Raven nodded doubtfully. She was almost certain she knew what Beast Boy was about to say—but she wasn't certain about whether or not she was happy he didn't get to say it.

Maybe they would have a future _someday,_ she mused; but right now, they were good friends. That was all they really needed.

**a/n: it is unforgiveable that i have taken so, so long to start posting again. my computer stopped allowing me to upload things for the longest time, and it finally began working again. i've been working dilegently to try and wrap up all my loose-ends with stories. this installment and the one before it were a bit more serious; but the light-hearted humor will make it's way back in soon enough. xoxo--musetta**


	11. Tip Number Ten

**Tip Ten—When a team member's family wishes to visit them, get as far away from the tower as humanly possible. **

"I'm sorry… what did you say?" Robin asked, griping his bo-staff tensely. Cyborg shrugged guiltily, offering a weak smile to his leader.

"Uh—my family thought it'd be nice to stop by for a few days," He repeated, "So I, uh, told 'em it was okay."

"_Without_ asking the rest of us?" He demanded.

"Hey," Cyborg countered, "Do you _know_ my granny? Try saying no to that woman, I dare you!"

"I've spoken to her once," Raven joined the conversation, her voice even and without emotion, "She frightens me."

"She frightens _you?_" Robin repeated, forehead creasing into a frown. He considered this new information before speaking again. "I guess if she even scares Raven, there really is no refusing her."

"So they can come?" Cyborg asked hopefully.

"Yes, they can come. For a _few days._" Robin finished threateningly, giving Cyborg a warning look. "I'll go tell the others."

"The idiot," Raven smirked once the doors had closed, and turned to Cyborg; "Like I've ever met your granny."

XxX

For the next few days, the Titans cleaned the tower frantically. Raven and Beast Boy complained that they ought to hire someone to do it for them ("it's the _least_ any of them can do for us"), Starfire tried to maintain a cheery attitude (she quit when she found the couch cushions glued together with peanut butter and fluff), Robin supervised (this translated to not doing a thing), while Cyborg started giving the others tips on how to behave around his family.

"My younger sister—Katherine, but you can call her Kat—is a _really_ nice kid. You'll have no problems with her—Star, I think you two will get along great," Cyborg said excitedly. "And my mom and dad are great, too. You guys are gonna love havin' 'em here."

"It'll be great to get a home-baked mom-meal," Beast Boy mused, begrudgingly pushing the vacuum around the room.

"Huh? Oh, man, BB, no," Cyborg laughed. "My mom doesn't do the 'home baked meal' stuff. She and my dad both worked jobs all day! She didn't have time to cook us dinner. We mainly got take out or stuff you put in the microwave for a minute. I'm the best chef in the family."

"But all you know how to make is meat!"

"_Exactly_."

XxX

The day his family was set to arrive, Cyborg performed 'inspections' on every single Titan. When they protested, he argued with; "IfI _don't_, granny _will_." After he was satisfied with all of them, he sat them in a line on the couch, giving them last minute advice.

"I forgot to mention, my grandparents can get a little testy," He explained. "Uh—basically, with them, as long as you stay outta their way, do whatever they ask you, and avoid eye-contact you'll be fine. Rae—"

"Don't worry. I'll avoid them at all costs." Cyborg grinned, looking relieved.

"You're the best, Rae!"

"Yes, I know." She joked dryly. The doorbell echoed throughout the tower, causing Cyborg to leap out of his seat in surprise.

"Okay. Come with me. Er—no, wait here. Okay, yeah. Wait here." He ran off towards the door, leaving the others in his wake. They fell into an awkward silence, unsure of what to do or say. Finally, they heard footsteps and voices, signaling Cyborg's return.

"Alright everybody—meet the Titans! That's Robin, Starfire, Raven, and Beast Boy," He went through the line dutifully, introducing everyone. "And Titans, meet my family! My mother, Deidre; my father, Derek; my grampy, Richard; my granny, Meredith; and my sister, Kat."

"Don't call me Kat," Katherine ordered, frowning at the Titans. A small smile graced Raven's lips.

"I think I'm going to like this girl."

"Don't get your hopes up," Katherine snarled.

"Katherine," Deidre chastised, before turning to the Titans and smiling brightly. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Robin reached out to shake her hand, then Derek's. Beast Boy followed suite.

"Strong grip." Derek commended Beast Boy, who grinned proudly. "Must be all the meat they've been feedin' ya!"

"Huh? Oh, no way dude, I'm a vegetarian," Beast Boy explained. Derek's grin turned stoic.

"Vegetarian, eh?" He asked. Beast Boy nodded. Derek turned back to Cyborg, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, son. We'll convert him yet."

"Cyborg!" Meredith slapped Cyborg's arm with her purse. "Are you just going to stand there and make your poor, old granny carry her bags up to her room?"

"Of course not—sorry, granny." He reached for her bags, only to have her slap away his hand again.

"Not _you, _Cyborg! Have one of _them_ do it." She gestured carelessly to the other Titans. "I came here to visit my grandson, not turn him into a slave."

"I'll take them," Raven offered, looking for a reason to get away. Black energy encased the bags, and Cyborg's granny started shrieking right away.

"Devil child! Demon girl! Don't touch my bags with your devil magic! Witch! _Witch_!" She shrieked, leaping from foot to foot, pointing furiously at Raven. Stunned, Raven dropped the bags, and backed away slowly.

"Granny! Granny, calm down, she's not a witch! It's her powers, she can levitated objects with her mind. Calm down, granny."

"Don't you tell your granny to calm down, young man!" Richard ordered.

"Sorry grampy…" Cyborg mumbled.

"You should be, talking to family like that…" He grumbled. He glanced around at the other Titans, his eyes falling on Starfire. "Christ Almighty, she's half naked, Cyborg!"

"It's her _uniform_, Grampy," Cyborg tried to explain, earning another smack from his Granny's purse.

"I have displeased you in some way?" Starfire asked, distressed. "I apologize profusely—I shall change immediately!" Starfire flew off to her room in a panic, horrified that she'd already offended the guests. Meanwhile, Raven was ready to flee, too. She would have, if it weren't for Robin's grip on her cape.

"Raven's powers can be intimidating at first, I know, but she meant well," Robin assured Cyborg's grandmother, "It's nothing to be afraid of."

"Don't you talk back to me! Cyborg, is your friend talking back to me? Tell him not to!"

Cyborg sighed, hoisting his Granny's bags onto his shoulders while trying to separate her from Robin.

"It's gonna be a long two days…"

XxX

The next morning, Cyborg awoke to his mother making pancakes in the kitchen. The other Titans were up and sitting around the table, along with the rest of his family.

"Mom? Are _you_ cookin' breakfast?" He asked.

"I sure am, honey," She replied. She smiled at him, but she sounded anxious. "Beast Boy here mentioned how long it had been since they'd had a home made meal cooked by a mother, so I felt obligated to make some for everyone."

"But mom, you're a _terrible_ cook," Cyborg reminded her. Deidre waved him off.

"Don't be silly, darling!" The tension was evident in her voice, despite her flippant attitude. "Anyone can make pancakes! Isn't that right, Raven?"

"_I_ can't." She replied.

"Oh! Well, um—" She was unable to finish her sentence, due to a painfully bad smelling black smoke rising from the pancakes. Starfire (who was now wearing a heavy sweater and snow pants to avoid further offending anyone) yelped, and ran to the sink to try and put out the flames that were now rising from the pancakes as well. Deidre sighed, letting herself fall into her seat sheepishly. "I guess you're not the only one, Raven."

"I'll make us breakfast," Cyborg offered, clearing away the burned remnants.

"Way to go, mom," Katherine rolled her eyes.

"Now Kat," Derek chastised, earning a glare from his daughter.

"Don't call me that!" She snapped.

"Your sister is my kind of girl," Raven said to Cyborg in approval. Katherine balked, looking horrified.

"Ew, Cy, is she hitting on me?" She asked, recoiling. Raven rolled her eyes, and pulled her hood up over her head.

"If I was a lesbian I wouldn't waste my time with you." She informed her shortly, before swiftly leaving the room. Just as she left, Cyborg's grandparents entered, looking disgruntled.

"Cyborg!" His grampy snapped, holding up a gift basket, "What is the meaning of this?" Inside the gift basket was large amounts of tofu and soy, as well as products containing them. Veggie burgers, tofu hot dogs, and soy milk were wrapped up in pretty green ribbons. Cyborg turned and glared at Beast Boy.

"I hope you're pleased with yourself, this is all we're going to hear about for the next _twelve hours._"

"When I was a kid, we didn't have this sissy vegetarian junk, you know! We ate _real_ meat, and we liked it!" He was off, pacing the room as he ranted, while Meredith sorted through the gift basket and tossed items away in disgust. "Being a vegetarian wasn't an _option! _I grew up in the depression, you hear me? We didn't have the money to be picky! We ate what we were given, and we didn't complain one minute about it!"

XxX

"Bye, granny!"

Cyborg and the others had all but shoved Cyborg's family back into their car, they were so pleased. The vegetarian gift basket stunt caused a massive argument, and prompted Cyborg's family to leave a day sooner. (If they hadn't, Raven admitted, she would've thrown them into the bay.)

"Next time," Robin said through a forced smile as he waved at the departing guests, "_You_ can visit _them_."

**authors notes! school is completely wiping me out, i'm exhausted, and i'm so busy with school work that my updates will be a little less frequent. i won't disappear forever this time, though, i promise. NOW, ONTO THE REVIEW REPLIES.**

**cheekylildevil--AHHH! That's a really, really good point. And now I feel terribly stupid, because I went through and thought that I gave a reason as to why they had no way out of the closet. I guess I overlooked the most important one--Raven's powers! Well, um, all I can ask is that you use willing suspension of disbelief and pretend there is a reason as to why she doesn't use them. **

**lorendiac--While I appreciate your criticism, I knew all of that already. Keep in mind that I started posting for this story nearly two years ago, and my writing has improved since then. But also, as to what you were saying about sentences in "quotations" and the comma at the end instead of a period--sometimes, I knowingly ignore that rule. When one of the characters says something in a final or definite way (for example, Raven saying "get out of my room"), I put a period instead of a comma. Otherwise, I feel like it loses some of it's harshness. Oh--and as reference to Beast Boy and the tootsie roll, I really didn't think anyone would read that much into it. I was just looking for a goofy way to end it.**

**general havoc--your reviews make me laugh and smile! thank you for taking the time to review each chapter!**

**xox, Musetta**


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